To Ellen with love

My college friend, Ellen, passed away last July after enduring a courageous four year battle with breast cancer.  Ellen was a ray of sunshine.  Her bright shining light often amplified my sometimes mellow, melancholy demeanor which when I first met her annoyed me to no end, lol.  We worked side by side during our clinicals in radiography.  She was perky and upbeat and I tolerated her.  I then became pregnant after a year of trying.  At 14 weeks along we lost our baby.  Devastated, I took a whopping two days off work.  When you are pregnant you cannot go to surgery because of the radiation from the X-ray machine.  Upon my return to work I was called to surgery and Ellen immediately offered to go for me.  I was aching both physically and emotionally and felt like a failure for not carrying my baby to viability.  My emotions were too complex to even put into words.  Our eyes met and I simply said, "I can go, I am not pregnant". The words hung in the air.  The air felt like it left the room and I wanted to suck the words back in because they stung so badly.  Ellen touched my hand and simply said, "I will go.  I am sorry Jamie". I was glad the first time I said the words out loud they were met with respect and tenderness.  She was not yet married or a mom so she did not understand but she was not trying to.  She was trying to meet me where I was at and hear me.  It was easier to say the words after that.  More on Ellen soon...

Three years in the making

Three years is a long time!  I am the mom to a ten year old, nine year old, seven year old and three year old.  My kids have taught me so much over the last decade.  I often think my life started when I became a mother.  There is an accountability I have learned here in my home.  In the outside world you can create any persona you wish others to believe is the real you.  When you have children they are a direct reflection of the true you, the you inside the four walls of your home.  The proof is in the pudding.  They reflect your insecurities, anxieties, perception of the world around you, and the beauty of your spirit.  They of course could reflect the ugliness of your spirit also.  I am thankful everyday for my job and the four beauties that hold me to a high standard.

Joseph

Joseph, AKA Bubba. There are so many facets to Joe. I will try to name a few but honestly the list is too long. Only on the earth for four years and has already lived so much. Our Joe is, STRONG willed, will make you laugh, mischievous, handsome, outspoken, engaging, NAUGHTY, a big brother, a little brother, loves JESUS, brave, believes he can do anything he puts his mind to, fiercely protective of his siblings, a grandson, a nephew, a proud cousin, and a brilliant creation from our Lord above. We love our Bubba.

Katherine

Katherine Jeanne. Our Kate Loves GOD, is shy, is silly, is SMART, is respectful, is helpful, is BEAUTIFUL, takes care of her brothers, is a snuggler, is a cousin, a niece, a grand daughter, is dainty, loves bugs and WORMS, can find beauty in anything, is a collector, a scrapbooker, would be YOUR best friend if you needed her, will make you laugh, is one of God's greatest treasures. We could not be more proud of our Katie and thank the Lord for her.

Andrew

I present to you Andrew. He is sweet, curious, he loves God, is an avid reader, an explorer, a helper, a friend, the BEST brother, the first born, a leader, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin to MANY, and perhaps the most beautiful boy I have ever laid eyes on. We are proud to call him son, and to know him is to love him.